


In Which Karkat Hates His Job

by quiescents



Series: Cheat Code [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Domestic, Humanstuck, M/M, Polyamory, barnes and noble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-09
Updated: 2015-02-09
Packaged: 2018-03-11 09:34:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3322520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quiescents/pseuds/quiescents
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat almost gets fired, yet again, and Eridan and Sollux need to resort to less customary methods of helping.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Which Karkat Hates His Job

On a Friday night, plenty of college students would be out on a date, or at a party, or possibly writing a paper that was due soon or studying for an exam. But Sollux Captor and Eridan Ampora were loitering near the customer service desk of their local Barnes & Noble, a sight that was relatively common to the employees and regular patrons. 

“Can you believe it though? They’re actually getting married this summer.” Sollux was actually pretty excited about the prospect of his brother getting married, despite his own apathy towards the idea of a wedding. 

“That’s adorable. I always knew they’d wind up gettin’ married...They’ve been datin’ since middle school. The only thing I’m surprised by is that it hasn’t happened sooner, honestly,” Eridan replied, leaning against the counter.

Meanwhile, Karkat was behind the counter in question, only half paying attention to the conversation of his boyfriends as he kept an eye out for anyone who might come over actually looking for an employee. He couldn’t possibly look more displeased to be there, idly fussing with his polo. 

“I think he could’ve picked a way more romantic way to propose,” he grumbled. “But then again, he is a Captor, so I shouldn’t really be surprised.” 

Sollux gasped in mock offense, resting a hand over his heart. “And what do you mean by that? I’m one of the most romantic people ever. Remember that time I took you on a date to a fancy restaurant in a limo for your birthday and you cried? You have to admit, that was pretty damn romantic.”

“That was half my idea,” Eridan added in. “You can’t take all the credit for it.” He was getting all pouty, and Sollux knew that if he didn’t get the acknowledgement he wanted, he’d be ridiculously grumpy for the rest of the night. So he nodded, conceding defeat.

“Still...I’m not totally hopeless at romance.”

In the midst of their little argument, an actual customer had approached and was asking Karkat questions about where to find a book that they didn’t actually remember the title or author of. The Cancer was struggling to maintain any level of civility, and both the others could tell, just watching the situation unfold. 

“Here it comes,” Eridan whispered to Sollux, barely holding back giggles. It was inevitable that Karkat would wind up being insanely rude to the elderly customer, resulting in his manager threatening once again to fire him. This happened at least once a month, regularly enough for Eridan’s wealthy businessman father to make a deal with the store that consisted of him paying the manager to keep Karkat on. Karkat was completely oblivious to this deal.

“And how the fuck do you expect me to find a book that you know literally nothing about beyond a vague as hell plotline? I haven’t memorized each and every book we carry! So maybe, next time, instead of expecting me to read your mind, you could try giving whatever employee is wasting their sad life here behind a counter the information they need to assist you. Think about it, if you're capable of that.” Karkat hardly even paused to take a breath throughout his rant, which was relatively short and child-friendly by his standards, grasping the edge of the counter like a life raft. 

In the few moments while the customer was just gaping at Karkat and trying to figure out how to respond, Eridan and Sollux crept away to another section of the store, not wanting to be present for the fallout. 

They held hands all the way across the store to the café, Sollux hoping for all of their sakes that Karkat wouldn’t dig himself even deeper into the situation. Eventually, it was possible that Dualscar’s occasional bribes wouldn’t be good enough and Karkat really would be fired and forced to search for another job. And on the lesser but still unpleasant end of the scale, all three of them lived together, so an angry Karkat had the potential to make Sollux and Eridan’s lives just as miserable as his own.

“I’d better text my dad about that,” Eridan said to break the silence, fishing his phone out of his pocket with his free hand.

“KK really needs to get better at waiting until the person’s out of earshot to talk shit about them,” Sollux replied with a roll of his eyes, walking up to the counter. If they were going to wait another hour until the end of Karkat’s shift, they might as well get coffee.

He ordered a simple latte, and tried his best not to look amused when Eridan placed his own ridiculously complex order. It seemed to be slightly different every time, but always just long enough to warrant speaking slowly and repeating so that the cashier could keep up. 

"You and your frilly drinks, ED, I swear. They don't even taste like coffee." Sollux chose a small table once their coffees were made, sipping his and looking out the window.

"I don't need much actual caffeine at night though, Sol, I'm just gettin' it because it tastes good and it's warm." Eridan adjusted his scarf, finishing his message to his father. 

"Mhm, whatever you say, you dork," the Gemini said with a soft smile, leaning in and kissing him. "You don't drink plain coffee in the mornings either." 

"That's because I don't like plain coffee much. I'm not like you and Kar, guzzling it constantly just to stay alive. You should try actually sleepin' once in awhile." Eridan paused in his lecturing long enough to return the kiss, smiling back. "And speakin' of that, his shift should be over pretty soon...Then we can all go home and get some sleep." 

"There's no way I'll be able to fall asleep anytime soon," Sollux replied. "You know that." 

"Well, you can cuddle with me until you do, instead of playin' video games and losin' track of time to the point where you don't go to bed until three in the morning. Kar too. We'll sleep in my bed tonight." Eridan's king size bed accommodated all three of them best, so that was where they slept more often than not when they were all on the same sleep schedule. Having three bedrooms meant that every night was a game of musical beds, really, but each of them being able to have their own space when they wanted it was worth it. 

"I guess that sounds okay," Sollux agreed, still smiling as he took a sip of Eridan's drink, making a face at the sweetness of it. 

"Just okay? That's not what it seems like when you're constantly clingin' to me in your sleep like I'm some kind of plushie." 

“I do not cling to you. That’s more KK’s thing, especially on movie night.” Really, he did wind up cuddling the others in his sleep a lot, and enjoyed it, but there was no way he’d admit that to Eridan. That would mean admitting that he was wrong.

Eridan made a noncommittal noise as he glanced down at his phone, seeing a reply from his father.

“He’s handlin’ it. Kar’s safe once again. I dunno how much longer this is gonna work though. I wish he’d just accept money, that’d be a lot easier than bribin’ his boss not to fire him.” 

Just as Eridan stopped speaking, Karkat walked over to their table, just barely missing the conversation about the state of his job. Sollux let out a silent sigh of relief, glad they’d dodged that particular bullet.

“Alright, let’s go. I’m so fucking done with today.” Karkat scowled, grabbing Sollux’s coffee from him. Sometimes he wondered why they even bothered getting their own food and drinks, since they all just mooched off each other half the time anyway. When he got the cup back, it was almost half-empty.

On the way home, Sollux and Eridan were treated to numerous stories from Karkat’s shift, which he described as hell on Earth. Sure, it sounded frustrating, but not nearly as bad as Karkat made it out to be. Both of them knew better than to say that though.

Once they were actually home, Karkat was the first to fall asleep, sprawled out in the middle of Eridan's massive bed. 

"What a dork," Eridan muttered affectionately. "Sometimes I feel like we're his parents in addition to his boyfriends, needin' to keep him pacified all the time."

Sollux nodded. He occasionally felt the same way, but it was worth it. Karkat was far more stressed than either of them most of the time, and refused to accept any kind of obvious help, financial or otherwise, so they had to be sneaky about it. It was worth it though, to help even a little. 

"Yeah, sometimes. But he'd probably say the same thing about us. We're all pretty high-maintenance." 

Then, Karkat half woke up, blinking tiredly at them. “Just get in bed instead of standing there and talking about me, you utter douchebags.”

So they did.

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a quick drabble to start fleshing out the AU, so sorry about anything that might be confusing and how short it is. Expect more about their relationship, backstory, etc in future pieces, and feel free to make requests for what you'd like future things in this AU to be about. There won't be a huge plot, it's mostly just domestic stuff.


End file.
